Television:
The Simpsons:  Abe, a.k.a Grampa

Grampa: "Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch."

Grampa: "Oh no... we're all doomed."

Grampa: "How can you have a house without a gun?"

Grampa: "This is just another Hallmark holiday cooked up to sell cards."

Grampa: "Now hold on just one minute!"

Grampa: "Oh, I know this story!"

Grampa: "That's a lie, and you know it!"

Grampa: "Call me mint jelly ... 'cause I'm on the lam!"

Grampa: "Ahh, quit your belly-achin', ya big loser!"

Grampa: "That's my old Smith & Wesson."

Grampa: "What the hell is that?"