John Cleese as Tim: "Death awaits you all, with nasty, big, pointed teeth!"
Eric Idle: "Bring out your dead!"
Michael Palin: "We are now the Knights who say... Ecky ecky ecky ecky, bih-kang, zoop-boing, zowenzum."
Old man: "I feel happy, I feel happy, I feel... Uhhh!"
Graham Chapman as King Arthur: "Look, you stupid bastard! You've got no arms left!"
John Cleese as the Black Knight: "Yes, I have."
Chapman: "Look!"
Cleese: "It's just a flesh wound."
John Cleese: "I fart in your general direction!"
Michael Palin: "Oh Lord, bless this, Thy hand grenade, that with it Thou mayst blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy."
Michael Palin: "This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who!"
Terry Gilliam: "Heh heh heh, hee hee hee, heh heh."
First couple of bars from the movie theme song.
Sfx: Arrow flying through air, striking target.
Eric Idle: "Message for you, sir."
Narrator: "And there was much rejoicing."
Michael Palin: "We are the Knights Who Say... Nih!"
Michael Palin: "Nih!"
Michael Palin: "We shall say Nih again to you... if you do not appease us."
John Cleese: "None shall pass."
Graham Chapman: "What?"
Cleese: "None shall pass!"
Old man: "I'm not dead!"
Eric Idle: "Here. He says he's not dead."
John Cleese: "Yes, he is."
Old man: "I'm not!"
Graham Chapman: "Now stand aside, worthy adversary."
John Cleese: " 'Tis but a scratch!"
Chapman: "A scratch?? Your arm's off!"
Cleese: "No, it isn't."
Chapman: "Well, what's that, then?"
Cleese: "I've had worse."
Chapman: "You lie!"
Cleese: "C'mon, ya pansy!"
Michael Palin: "And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats..."
Graham Chapman: "Please! Please, no more!"
Michael Palin as Dennis: "Help! Help, I'm being repressed!"
Michael Palin: "We are the keepers of the sacred words ... Nih, Ping, and Nee-wahm!"
Michael Palin: "The Knights Who Say Nih demand a sacrifice!"
Michael Palin: "We want ... a shrubbery!"
Shock music stinger.
Carol Cleveland: "You must tie her down on a bed and spank her!"
Women: "A spanking, a spanking!"
Carol Cleveland: "Spank me!"
Other women: "And spank me! – and me! – and me!"
John Cleese: "Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time."
Old man: "Now this is what they did..."
Knight: "Ah hah!"
Woman: "Frank!"
John Cleese: "There are some who call me... Tim."
Old crone: "Ughfff!"
Graham Chapman: "Are you sure he's got one?"
John Cleese: "Oh, yes, it's very nice."
Graham Chapman: "Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy a shrubbery?"
Shock music stinger.
Old crone: "Who sent you?"
Chapman: "The Knights Who Say Nih."
Crone: "Ughfff! No! Never! We've no shrubberies here!"
John Cleese: "You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!"
John Cleese: "Then you shall die."
Eric Idle as Sir Robin: "You tit!"
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